His Bearded Majesty: Prince Harry

Royals, they’re just like us. Well, except when they aren’t. Although the British Royal family no longer holds any significant ruling authority over the United Kingdom, William, Kate, Queen Elizabeth, and company still garner quite a bit of attention for just about everything they do, from their reproductive feats to their choice of pups. However, if there’s one royal that continues to receive press for accolades that single gentlemen the world over continue to envy him for, it’s he-who-shall-most-likely-never-be-king, Prince Harry.

Besides being a globe trotting, party harding, bachelor of the highest pedigree, Prince Harry also brought something back to Buckingham Palace unseen in quite a long time: a beard. In January 2014, the Prince was seen sporting a well-groomed (not to mention fiery red) beard to almost universal fanfare. Well, unless you include his dear grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II.

England’s second favorite granny (Maggie Smith aka Professor Minerva McGonagall aka Grandma Wendy from Hook forever) did not approve of her hairier grandson’s beardsmanship and all but forced him to shave. This, of course, was very sad and unjust. However, with patience good things have a tendency to work themselves out.

Just last month, during a three month adventure to Africa, the likes of which also featured fellow beardsmen Alexander Skarsgard and Dominic West, Prince Harry let his beard back out of its cage and embraced the beardsman within who he only temporarily became accustomed with during his first venture into bearded-dom. Of course, we all knew what was coming once he returned and, just like the first time, Prince Harry is once again completely shaven. Although it sounds like the Queen might be a tough audience to change the mind of, we came up with some ideas for Harry to sway her and reasons why he should come back to the bearded side.

The Man That Won’t Be King

Since Harry’s chances of ever taking the crown are immensely slim, he should enjoy his independence and overall ease of life. Sure, he still gets photographed relentlessly and his entire life is closely monitored, but he doesn’t have to present a specific type of image like other members of his family might.

Long story short, William might be king one day, but Harry can go places, see things, and have conversations that his older brother can’t that can benefit both the family and the crown. What does his beard have to do with this? Well, not a whole lot, but this is one of the most photographed and reported on families on Earth, why shouldn’t they each dress and display themselves in their most comfortable and confident manners?

Beardsmen Run In The Family

Although these days Prince Charles has moved out of the spotlight as his two sons continue to dominate the interests of Brits and fans worldwide, he was both William and Harry before William and Harry were William and Harry. The main reason for that (possibly) was undoubtedly his fondness for facial hair.

For years, Prince Charles sported a well-groomed and very full beard, which is why it seems so strange that the Queen would be so impartial to her grandson following suit. Additionally, the Queen’s grandfather, George V for those keeping track at home, was depicted in almost all portraits and photos as having a sizable beard and a truly epic moustache. Long story short Harry, if need be pull out the family photo album (or simply Google your forefathers) in order to show Grandma how well beards compliment your genepool. Don’t let your brother fool you, beards command respect. Speaking of which…

Even William Had A Beard Once

To continue on the trend within the family, Prince Harry’s very own older brother William was known to grow out his beard at times as well and he seems to have done quite well for himself in the long term, well, minus his hairline. Again, it seems like the Queen is picking on Harry a little more than he deserves, however, when you’re following in the footsteps of an older brother who seems to have just about everything figured out that he was expected to over the years, it can be hard not to be seen as flawed from time to time.

Our suggestion: first prove to Grandma that your older brother isn’t perfect and then explain to her how you plan to open a farm and rehabilitation center for injured and abandoned corgis. No royal family is complete without a renowned beardsman, pick up the torch Harry.

Every Ruler Needs A Trusted Bearded Advisor

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but the Queen isn’t going to live forever. When that unfortunate day comes, her son Prince Charles will assume the throne, however, since he’s already 66, there’s a very high likelihood that his oldest son, Prince William, will take over in the not too distant of futures. Now, when that day comes, Prince William will need a trusty, more rugged and worldly advisor to help assist him with his kingly duties (i.e. presenting trophies at Wimbledon and appearing on island currency around the world).

Sure, Harry might’ve been better known for his partying and womanizing in the past, but these days he’s a major supporter of wildlife preservation efforts, one of the main faces of veteran affairs in the UK, and a voice for gingers everywhere that there is a better tomorrow on the horizon (sorry redheads, for everything).